PDA

View Full Version : Funny things you hear...



FlyingBushPig
10-07-2009, 10:02 PM
A bit like the funny things you see thread, I had to put this on and thought it could be the start of an interesting thread...

I'm a type 1 diabetic and as one daughter is getting towards 5 we though we'd explain this evening what to do should I end up on the floor unconscious...(i.e. ring 000)

My wife asked her "what do we do if daddy is lying very still on the floor?"
Cassia's answer: "give him a test?" (meaning blood test)
wife: "no, daddy would be too sick by then...what else should we do??"

Cassia: "Throw him in a REALLY DEEP POND?"

:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

I thought my kids were innocent!! :cry: So, any other funny things you've heard?? :D

Kev & Jas
22-07-2009, 08:06 AM
A bit like the funny things you see thread, I had to put this on and thought it could be the start of an interesting thread...

I'm a type 1 diabetic and as one daughter is getting towards 5 we though we'd explain this evening what to do should I end up on the floor unconscious...(i.e. ring 000)

My wife asked her "what do we do if daddy is lying very still on the floor?"
Cassia's answer: "give him a test?" (meaning blood test)
wife: "no, daddy would be too sick by then...what else should we do??"

Cassia: "Throw him in a REALLY DEEP POND?"

:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

I thought my kids were innocent!! :cry: So, any other funny things you've heard?? :D

Lol!
our 5yo is always coming out with strange things too!
when i can think of one i'll add it for you

Jas

Black Prado Chick
23-07-2009, 10:54 AM
I was babysitting my 4 year old niece a couple weeks back and I was talking to her about getting married. And then she asked me if I would like to be her flower girl at her wedding. :lol: :shock: :lol:

mav
23-07-2009, 11:06 AM
My daughter has become besotted with Luke Skywalker and watches Star Wars whenever she can. My wife broke her heart the other day when she said to my daughter, " You know Luke Skywalker is a lot older now than when this movie was made." My daughter said," How old is he mummy?" my wife said," Well he is older than Daddy now." and quick as a flash my darling daughter says, "Oh! So he's dead then." :lol: :lol: :lol:

mav
23-07-2009, 11:12 AM
A couple of years ago we stopped at Maccas in Port Augusta for lunch and I asked my wife what she would like to which she responded, "Oh just get me a half a dozen nuggets." So I went in and was greeted with the usual, "May I help you sir?" from the girl behind the counter. I said, "Yes please, could I have half a dozen nuggets please?" The girl quickly responded with "I'm sorry sir, but they only come in packs of 3, 6, or 9." :shock: At first I thought she was having a lend of me but I soon realised she was serious. So not wanting to embarrass the poor girl I said, "Well in that case you had better just give me 6 then." :lol: :lol: :lol:

ntp
13-10-2009, 06:01 PM
My six year old daughter lost another front tooth yesterday and was excited at the thought of some extra money from the Tooth Fairy.

However, my 10 year old daughter, being the know-all and spoil-sport she is, was quick to tell her that the 'Tooth Fairy' isn't real and that it is really just Mum & Dad who put the money in the cup. This upset my youngest daughter. So, after carefully thinking about the situation, my six year old daughter came up to me and said, "Daddy. Ariana reckons that the Tooth Fairy isn't real. She says that you and Mummy put the money in the cup. So I don't want you to touch the cup and let's see what happens. If there's money in the cup in the morning, then we know the Tooth Fairy is real. So don't touch the cup, okay". "I won't," I promised.

She woke up and found $5 in coin in the cup this morning. So the Tooth Fairy is REAL!!! :D :D :D

Dobbo
13-10-2009, 06:18 PM
When our daughter was about 2 maybe 2 1/2 and was just learning to speak quite well, we were heading out of the park to go shopping . Coming up Audley Hill we became stuck behind a couple of pushbike riders who refused to move to the left of the road.
Now I detest these ignorant a**eholes who believe they own the road and quite often voice my frustration at their lack of consideration.
Suddenly a little voice came from the back " there's some of those dickheads dad" :shock:
My wife turned to me with raised eyebrows, as if to say now where would she learn words like that? :oops:
Inwardly I was breathing a sigh of relief that she hadn't embellished that sentence with a couple of the more colourful words I reserve for these clowns.

humphrey
13-10-2009, 09:23 PM
I drink beer, ride fast bikes and will spend the next 5 days camped down the Island for the MotoGP. I spent all Sunday stuck to the lounge watching Bathurst. I love camping with the family, getting lost up in Gaffneys Creek and snatching my dopey uncle and his Patrol out of the crap. I'm an ordinary outdoor Prado owner sort of guy. Oh! I also cycle the 45km return to work every day.

It amazes me that a stray dog running around on the Monash Freeway will stop four lanes of peak hour traffic, but I get side swiped and smacked on the arse by a EF Falcon mirror at 60 kays an hour coz the guy didn't want to move over and spare me three inches of room. There's something noval about spinning around on your head in the middle of an intersection. Due to his rush I assumed he must of had an extremely important job to attend to, and I, being a cyclist probably shouldn't of been there in the first place, being a road and all.

I have "F%@& that was close" moments every day without fail. I constantly tell my wife that cycling is far more dangerous than motor cycles. Just like riding motor bikes or crossing the Simpson I accept the risk involved, but that doesn't mean I want to get killed doing it.

And if I hold you up a few minutes out of your day, it make make he a slight hindrance, but it doesn't make me an a#&#hole.

petcar1
27-11-2009, 06:20 PM
COO at work was commenting that MS Project was the same as Primavera P6. Senior Planner commented, Yeah and tonight Iam not going to the pussycat club. I am staying home to get a lap dance from my mum. She's a woman, there both the same.

ntp
18-07-2010, 08:09 PM
Wanting her own man-date, Julia's triggered a general erection to decide her fate. Well, that's what I think the newsreader said. :shock:

ntp
23-07-2011, 04:52 PM
A frog goes into a bank...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Y3AXzZqg2k&playnext=1&list=PL9F36D2513510690D

1coolbanana
23-07-2011, 06:17 PM
Whats the world coming to!

Kid comes up to me in the shopping centre the other day and asks me the time so I show him my watch, (you know, the regular watch with hands)!

He looks at me blankly and says "I cant read that its not digital" :eek:

ntp
08-08-2013, 09:52 PM
Scrotox... the latest male fashion.

kav
21-01-2014, 04:59 PM
Me and the missus are doing 115 kph up the freeway today , between Yass and Goulburn and she sees the wind generators about half a mile away to the side , she turns down the stereo and opens the window and says I wonder if you can hear them . 115 kph , concrete road surface , AT tires , open window , does anyone else see or hear a problem .

ntp
21-01-2014, 05:28 PM
Me and the missus are doing 115 kph up the freeway today , between Yass and Goulburn and she sees the wind generators about half a mile away to the side , she turns down the stereo and opens the window and says I wonder if you can hear them . 115 kph , concrete road surface , AT tires , open window , does anyone else see or hear a problem .
The wind was blowing in the opposite direction?

r4ndll
21-01-2014, 05:53 PM
My 6 year old after being caught out lying by mum
-Mummy how did you know?
-Because I am a mummy and mummies know everything
-I wish you were a Daddy because then you wouldn't know anything